I would detach a little bit more. Just be yourself and try to accept your h as he is today. It takes a lot of energy to "read your h's emotions and responses. Keep in mind, his emotions bounce all over the place, so the response you get right now may be totally different in 10 minutes. Best to leave him to his little adventure in La La Land and you try to keep the focus on you and your family.
BTW, don't be surprised that when you pull back, he'll pursue and rope you back in, be it w/comments and/or actions or sex.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
