Ok, I've not eaten all day and I'm having a glass of wine so stick with me... I can't guarantee that what I have to say will be profound but it's big in my head.
Being separated is not fun but I will say this. There's strange freedom in not having H around and it has taken me a while to figure that out. I have removed ALL clutter from the counters in the kitchen. There are NEVER dirty dishes in the sink.
On a whim I bought houseplants today because we haven't had any since before D was born. I like them. I mean, I'm not green thumb gardener but I like live things in a room plus the ones I bought help clean the air and since the A/C is always on, it's nice to have some freshness in the room.
The manager at the nursery was very flirtatious and gave me two plants for free (hey, it pays to be female some times). I don't wear a ring so when I gave him my membership card and my H's name came up on the computer I said, "oh that's my husband" he said, "Oh man! You're married?! You don't wear a ring!" I just smiled. Then as he was loading my car with my purchases he talked about his wife. WHAT!? You have a wife?! What is wrong with these people?! Ugh!
Anyway, planted my plants, rearranged some things, poured a glass of wine and here I sit. Life isn't bad. Granted, I'm the one who lives in the big house while H is in his apartment but he chose that, right?
My point is, I've read 1,000 pages this week about marriage and relationships and shame and fear and trust, and studies and research and I'm taking the night OFF from working on ME and my semi-marriage.
