I can be the lighthouse but not the tugboat

[daring]

2b I may know it but can always use the reminder because knowing doesn't always translate into doing!
I had slipped in my prayer time and really need to get back to it.


So in other news my sitch takes the craziest turns!!!! Yesterday morning after writing here with you all and praying ( thanks again 2B) I was feeling a bit calmer. Anger dissipated.
While getting S7 ready for school he realized he left his uniform shoes at dads house so we had to stop over there on way to school.
H brought the shoes to the door in his underwear- which caught me off guard as he looked HOT and I was a little stirred up. Whew!!
I also had to ask him to take S16 to the doctor b/c he pulled a muscle and couldn't move his neck. Thankfully H does not work full time right now so while nanny is on vacation he has been doing lots of the errands and kids appts. ( thinking team FY )
So he was texting me quite a bit throughout the day about kids etc. He also texted me that money was in our account from his business to pay taxes and he's sorry if he got weird about it all- he was just trying to be a grown up about his finances. Wow- that was nice.
So then when I got home he asked if I needed anything and gave me a hug before he left for the night. I tried to let go first but he kept holding and rubbing my side. Then he headed out.
So last night at about 135 AM our house alarm goes off. Scared the bejesus out of me and the kids. Still can't find the cause as no break in attempted. D13 called H while I was trying to get the alarm silenced and he came right over.
Joked with me that if I wanted him to sleep with me I didn't have to go to such lengths. I laughed but didn't say anything.
Then after checking out house he hugged and held me b/c I was freaked out.
One snuggle led to another and well..... In 48hrs I go fom wanting to yell at him to ML.

I'm not sure if this is the pursuit and distance dance or him trying to recognize that I'm stressed and he needs to help more.

It was a nice moment, I enjoyed it, I don't feel used. Now I just have to realize to expect nothing other than maybe God will set off more alarms to bring those moments together