Need Help before I blow a fuse.

[20&lost]

Had a good conversation on "all about me" subject. Told her she was correct (I have been this way) and I apologized and told her I am sorry this behavior hurt her. That I would be working on trying to change it.

On another front. Thursday night I went to bed earlier and woke up about midnight. My W was on the phone with someone laughing,etc...I didn't think much of it and headed back to bed and then I heard "I already told you I did that for you" in a very angry/upset tone and then it sounded as if the call ended. Fast forward to Friday night at a HS football game. My D is a cheerleader and my W is the cheer mom. My W goes to every game and is with the cheerleaders. However, last night I noticed that twice she disappeared for over 15 minutes each time. My thoughts are that she had some type of argument with her EA/OM on Thursday and Friday night she disappeared twice to talk with him. I never brought this up to her and have not given it any energy, just observations. I think that a freight train wreck with her is getting ready to happen and need to be prepared.

Friday's Positives:

1. Good conversation in the car on “all about me”
2. Went to HS football game together
3. She made the bed the 1st time in many months. She knows that the bed being made is a something I like. She normally doesn't get up until 11am and for 20 years when I came home from work it was always made. About two months ago she just stopped doing it. I started doing it for a week about a month ago but found when she saw it made it irritated her so I stopped. This is an item on my goal list.
4. On way to FB game she read an email to me that she had send to HS Councilors on behalf of D.
5. Read the response that the counselor sent back

I plan to try and have the conversation about how we treat each other in around our family, in public and around the office next week. I going to find a time that is calm for both of us. Tell her that we BOTH need to work on treating each other better when we are in the above situations and then give her an example of something I have done and something she has done that is improper.

One more thing: The EA person's birthday is coming up in a few weeks. Unfortunately, I know she has gotten him something. This was found out before I read DB and started DBing. How should I handle. Based on the DBing, I think I just leave it alone and act that there is no EA (no energy). I know my W is not going to do anything to upset my D during her senior year in HS and now that D is having panic attacks. Reading the tea leaves, I believe one day all of this is going to come crashing down on W and I want to be prepared and not taken down in the crash. I want to be my W's and my kids rock so when the crash happens they knows where their foundation is.

Thanks and that is all for now.