[gan]

Thanks so much, Maybell. I do accept that his feelings are his to work out, just get frustrated by his tendency to ignore, not deal, deny (there's a history there, estrangement in the family following his parents' separation). On the other hand, I think he does process things internally in a way that I probably don't appreciate. In fact I think this sensitivity was one of the things that attracted me to him in the first place.

My task? My task is to let him be (I'm generally doing ok with that). My other task is to work on me. Our separation came so quickly and with so little discussion that it's been hard to identify the 180s I need to pull from H's perspective. As for my perspective, I've identified a few things (e.g. reactive communication style, anxieties around work) that I am working on. I need to throw some more fun into the mix too!

No Labug doesn't visit me as far as I know…but I would love it if she did (hint, hint). I have gone back and read her old threads up until she and H started dating again. Her personal journey was an inspiration to read…particularly since she also went for long periods without contact with H.