What to do when an EA involved?

[Hoju]

Arrrrrggggghhhh so I was doing so well, i had come to terms with the house being up for sale and with W leaving, then tonight hits. Stager was coming tonight and W said she wanted to be here. I went out for drinks with some coworkers after work before stager was suppose to get to the house. I was beaming and buzzing from a few drinks when I got home feeling really good and bam. I walk into the stager finishing up and W sitting on the couch crying. I instantly feel like a bag of crap, how can I be so happy when W is so miserable.

After the stager leaves W sticks around a bit to "clean", which consisted of scraping the varnish off our already spotless floors. I sat next to her and helped scrub the floors telling her it's ok to cry that she will feel better when she lets it all out, things i've learned from my IC . I told her I was here for her and for once did not make an exit. After a bit of cleaning i invited her to stay for a coffee or something stronger, she declined and still had not yet stopped crying. She mentions about how good I seem to be doing and how she just wants me to be happy, she then mentions again about how proud of me she is. I just continue to try and support her, carry some heavier items to her car, lovingly give her a hug as she was leaving (thanks 24). Then she left to go home, still in tears.

Now I feel aweful for seeming ok when really I'm absolutly dieing inside, I want nothing more then to save my marriage and seeing her reminds me so much of all I've lost. I'm so good with moving forward when she's not around but the second she shows up and shows any emotion I break down and lose it. Just thought I wold post because i'm feeling really down. All and all probably a good night for DB but a bad night for me emotionally.