I have finally decided I need to set firm boundaries with h, my fear of losing him has stopped me in the past 6 months, but it finally( I know I'm a bit dense) dawned on me I've already lost him, so I have nothing to fear.
He and she have been posting ridiculously soppy stuff on Fb, I've actually deleted him from my Fb but am still getting told what is being posted.
I broke down the other night, I just couldn't understand how he could be so cruel and disrespectful, I know and the whole world knows that he and ow are together and 'happy' so why rub my face in it and flog it?
I said that to h last night, among other things, and then I thought this is so ridiculous.
I came home and wrote down boundaries for myself and him in order to move forward, regardless of out sitch at the moment.
first one was that h has to get a car, I can't keep being the chauffeur for the boys all the time, it's been 6 months, he's had the money and has wasted it on crap basically.
next one is family night, he either sticks to his idea and it was his idea or he cans it completely but make a decision
next one is the kids and ow, I can't control what he does in that regard, but he needs to go gently with them especially since he and ow 'broke up' last week, and now back together, I don't want the boys caught up in the middle of unstable situation.
The money that gives me each week, I want a set figure so I'm not asking each week how much to take out of the joint account.
There were a few more but I wrote them all down and I'll actually take the written noted with me so I don't veer off track.
it nearly made panic having to ring to ask if he would be prepared to sit down and discuss these things, and that frustrates me because a couple of weeks ago I could have bought up this stuff no worries, I now feel as though um walking on eggshells.
6 months down the road and we are back to worse than square one. I'm hoping that these boundaries will help me to detach and not have to see h as often, and also that he now has to rely on ow for all the support except for the boys of course