But how I can't control anything that goes on in her life. I can just voice my concerns in which I have already done this. And Apperently she must have done that to get to me.
M36/W30 S13,D10,S6 Married 4.5 together 12 Bomb 1/14 EA/PA OM 1/14 still going Served 2/14/14 Separated 3/14 D paused 6/14 6/15 divorced
I hope someone else chimes in here soon. I don't know exactly how to approach this topic. All I can say is that if I saw OM driving my kids around I would react. Honestly, I think it needs to be a STRONG reaction. If you witnessed this, and it is in fact 100% true talk to a law enforcment agency or a L to see what your options are.
If I saw my kids in a car with a total stranger I would have every police cruiser in town on that car because as far as you know someone has kidnapped your kids.
Someone 2x4 me on this because that was a very emotional response on my part!
M42 W40 T17 M15 S13 S11 BD 7-14 A discovered 7-14 WAW moved out 10-3-14 D final 2-23-15
"I saw OM driving my kids around I would react. Honestly, I think it needs to be a STRONG reaction. If you witnessed this, and it is in fact 100% true talk to a law enforcment agency or a L to see what your options are. "
If there is nothing in place legally, there is nothing you can do because he was granted permission by the W to drive the kids. Again, that's something you're trying to control. I know it's extremely tough but it has to be done the right way or else you would get in trouble and not the OM.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Thanks Mrbond. I know there is nothing I can do but extremely upset. And I know she is just trying to put OM in the spot I was in the home with her. Just hurts a ton!
M36/W30 S13,D10,S6 Married 4.5 together 12 Bomb 1/14 EA/PA OM 1/14 still going Served 2/14/14 Separated 3/14 D paused 6/14 6/15 divorced
You offered her a place to live and to pay all her expenses without laying down any ground rules......yet you had certain expectations from her! You didn't think it through, but instead took some advice and went overboard with it before taking time to think it through and get a clear understanding of what was suggested. Was this your idea of keeping the road paved smooth? I agree, you do have a problem with balance. Now, you realize your WAW apparently has a different POV about how she will live her life.....and let you foot the bills.
As for OM and your kids, all you can do is check with a lawyer. Otherwise, you can snort and stomp around like an angry bull, but it won't pave that road any better. Face it, you scr@wed up when you offered her the goose who lays gold eggs. And you are the goose! . I know, you thought it was helping her in her hard times. I just don't agree with the way you chose to help.
For now, cool down and try to get your head on straight before making another bad decision. Okay?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sandi I think you miss understand the situation. She never moved back in with me. She moved into our old house yes it was to get her to be able to afford life. Because she would only have to pay utilities only. But what I didn't take into affect was that she would have OM stay there. With my kids. I also now know that my MIL is not to be trusted at all. The situation is was it is. Except it. Just lost a little love for the wife today. Maybe I'll think different tomorrow but who knows. I'm just glad I have my kids.
M36/W30 S13,D10,S6 Married 4.5 together 12 Bomb 1/14 EA/PA OM 1/14 still going Served 2/14/14 Separated 3/14 D paused 6/14 6/15 divorced
I hope someone else chimes in here soon. I don't know exactly how to approach this topic. All I can say is that if I saw OM driving my kids around I would react. Honestly, I think it needs to be a STRONG reaction. If you witnessed this, and it is in fact 100% true talk to a law enforcment agency or a L to see what your options are.
If I saw my kids in a car with a total stranger I would have every police cruiser in town on that car because as far as you know someone has kidnapped your kids. [color:#6600CC] He is not a "total stranger". so your response would be very inappropriate. NO, I am NOT defending the choice to have OM driving the kids around
and I sense the need to repeat that, so, NO I AM NOT saying it's okay for OM to drive them around.
I'm saying he's not a "total stranger" and IF the rules were not outlined before hand, if the "boundaries" were not clear, then they are not really boundaries, are they?
Perhaps we should ALL Read up on boundaries... [/color] Someone 2x4 me on this because that was a very emotional response on my part!
yes they are emotional responses now, and in the heat of the moment==those will rarely do us well.
But just know this, we all felt them at some point.
Seriously. We have all been there and it does sukk, but there are such things as "Clear boundaries." [b] Your job, right now, is to find out what those look like.
Last edited by 25yearsmlc; 09/27/1403:45 AM.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
. I know, you thought it was helping her in her hard times. I just don't agree with the way you chose to help.