Need help. Scared, confused, and hurting.

[FunDad]

Jefe - You sound like a good man. You are going to get though this. God promises you will. Welcome to Job land brother.

Yes, follow the rules, detach. Don't have any expectations from her. Your expectations need to now come from God. That ring on your finger is a covenant between you, her, and God. I know how bad it hurts, but how bad does it hurt our savior when we reject him? Who died in that relationship? You are going to need to get closer to God in this and not mad at him. You and God must stand while she can not. She's deceived, and the enemy is having a hey day with it. You are a broken vessel btw - look up what Gidean did with a few of those. That can be you, let your light shine and watch God work. Don't let the religious people at the church run her down. That's not gonna help. It's supposed to be a place of healing, not condemnation. It's a fine line that I hope your leadership can walk out in love.

Get out of bed, and just walk. Walk. Call a friend while walking. Listen to some praise music. Kick a ball with the girls. Say the word "Fart" out loud a few times and see if you laugh. I'm serious. Don't snoop on her, it's going to hurt you like a razor hot barb and just tick her off. You must get out of the poor me, I'm going to be a zombie now cause my wife is acting human, and in sin. It happens. Don't hurt her back, but don't enable it either. Be the leader you should have been before, and it will draw her back. Be the husband Christ made you. Show your kids what love really is. Love endures ALL. Love is patient, kind. Remember?

Another book that is GREAT is Dr. Dobson's Love Must be Tough. It's got the answers you need and follow the divorce busting technique very close.

This won't be fixed over night. Restoration is a process. The grace of God is a critical piece. Hopefully yours won't lead to divorce, which is where I'm heading unfortunately.

Hang in there!

FD