Cali, I don't believe I've posted to you before, but I've been following your sitch. I'm sorry you are here, but you really have an amazing group to support you, on this board.
Moving forward scares the bleep out of me. The concept feels counterintuitive. I want my M. I want my H. Moving forward sounds like moving away....but it isn't.
I'm not where I need to be, but I know where I'm headed.
Regardless of H, I know I have to get "whole" for myself.
If H comes back, comes out of the fog, becomes whole himself, I will be prepared for a healthy, successful, peaceful M going forward.
If H doesn't, I will be prepared for a healthy, successful, peaceful life going forward.
One thing someone posted....is that by becoming whole yourself, you will likely be far ahead of your W with relationship skills, thus, outgrowing her. But, you may have the opportunity to decide if you want to mentor her, allowing her to catch up, and demonstrating how....should that happen. That's the thought that pushes me most.
I wanted to let you know I can relate to what you are going through, and I am cheering you on from the side, Cali.
Thank you so much for adding in
I do relate to not wanting to leave her in the fog, I do feel scared of moving to far forward to the point she can not find me, yeah ... I admit .. that does hit spot on. I do feel I need to be that lighthouse, the rock, steady as I can but I also know its me exposed to the elements and sooner or later I will erode like a cliff near the pounding ocean waves. I have made a good deal of progress ... its been nearly a year since we separated ... who knows how long since she started MLC ... and heaven knows how much longer she has to go ... I have seen some progress .... but I also question what will be left of her when she comes out of it.
