After 24 years, she leaves.

[Roberta]

I know that there are many threads attached to your posting. This is only in response to your original post. I know at this point, you are speaking to a counselor and your goal is to find out more about yourself, than saving the marriage. However, I urge you to consider speaking to a Divorce Busting coach as well.
You will find both perspectives extremely helpful. Use your Divorce Busting coach to help focus on yourself and see where that self stands inside and outside of the 24 year old marriage.
Call me to discuss our coaching program. 303-444-7004.