After 24 years, she leaves.

[25yearsmlc]

Let's try again...

What do you want to know?

Your ages, your financial issues if any, intimacy issues, if any,

health issues, if any. Professions, interests, educational issues if any. Describe your wife to us.

Tell us what YOU think YOUR WIFE would say were HER COMPLAINTS were about you...if she were here.

And what do YOU say are your complaints about her?

What does conflict resolution look like in your marriage?

What does forgiveness look like to you?

And how was it shown in your childhood?

How are the relationships between you and your children, and her?

And have you read the book(s) that form the basis of this site?

This site is NOT like other pro marriage sites. It's solution based, so even though things like your childhood and other historical issues may be relevant, we focus more on the present and what works NOW, than we do on how you got here.

But the "how you got here" certainly does matter. It's just that we want to get to do what helps the marriage, and NOT do what hurts. Sounds simple but a LOT of marriage counselors focus only on how one feels now, or how one sees their marital history. Depending on whom and when you ask, those version of history can vary widely.

I'm curious about your approach, b/c when your w MIGHT have sent out an olive branch, with the note of thanks, you snipped it right off.

That was strange, considering you claim not to be angry. It sure looked hostile.
Why did you say that you don't want her to contact you "for awhile"? How long is that?

How can she contact you again, short of begging, with her tail between her legs?

Also, if either of you decides to date, try NOT to decide NOW what you would do...

besides, dating does not always = sex.

When my h and I sep, we both dated.

Speaking for me, I dated a few very nice men, including 2 who were very attractive. We did not sleep together, and even though I enjoyed their company, for the most part I Became more convinced that my h and i were actually well suited for each other. He takes care of his health, some men our age don't. He is educated and smart and gets my jokes, not every man does or is. Things like that were noticed more by me...

I missed him more when I was on some dates, not less. So that can happen.

Give us some details about your background and what you think lead to this, and we'll be able to asset more.

Oh and PLEASE Do not skimp on reading the books.

Read at least one of them or you won't get nearly the benefit of this site that you could get. (Plus, to me it looks lazy not to read the dang book but to want advice from people who are using the book as a frame of reference and overall guide and the terminology we use comes from the books....so you'll get a LOT more out of what we say if you know why and what we were are talking about.)

The Div Remedy is the newer edition, and it does not go into as much detail about why divorce is bad, as the first one. If you are not sure how you feel about divorce in general, then read the first one (Div Busting) B/c it surprised me to learn how unfavorable divorce is down the road.

Div Remedy is similar, but spends more time on the actual techniques to use to get through this time.

You can get through this and your marriage CAN improve. But it won't just happen, in my opinion. SO "waiting and seeing" with the separation won't do it for you.

You will need to do some brave digging.

But they say the real journey in life is an inward one. I believe that.

So dig deep and be brave.

I look forward to reading your posts.

Can you answer any of these questions or give us any of the above requested information?