Thanks Eric, Much to think about in your post and nothing I can disagree with. While I didn't mean to come off some of the ways I did, I do see how that it could be read that way, thanks for pointing it out. I was feeling a bit "attacked" but, again, that is just an excuse, not a reason.
Everything you have said is valid and makes sense and very much appreciated. I think more than anything else, in the end, we as people can only count on a very few people. We choose these people for different reasons and over time we start to let our guard down and REALLY trust that this small core group of people are the ones you KNOW you can trust. In turn you try as hard as you can to be trustworthy in return. You go out of your way for them, sacrifice for them because you really honestly believe with every fiber of your being that this person is one of the few you KNOW will never hurt you, never "turn" on you.
Of this core group your spouse is the one you trust the most. More than any other and when seemingly in the blink of an eye all that changes and they become the person who is MOST hurting you, the least "trustworthy" person in your life, it has a profound effect on you. You go through all sorts of emotions from hurt to embarrassment that you were "taken" by the one person you KNEW you could count on. You look back at all the things that you could have done if not for the fact that you didn't want to cause any upset to this person or because they "needed" you and wonder how they could do this.
In MLC I think it can be even worse because they also "blame" you for every bad thing that has ever happened to them all while you know that just isn't true. Very hard to deal with and when you see their actions hurting your kids and they can't or won't see it and just keep doing these things, it's even harder.
Thank you Eric, a lot to think about and important to actually accomplish!
