Newcomer living in Hell

[bravo61]

I know that she still loves me, she's slipped and said it several times, just not enough to move forward with me. She's also said that she's still very attracted to me. And I guess a positive is that initially she said even if years down the road my changes were still there and I asked her out she would say no. But we have been out together just us since then. Our d behavior has really gone downhill since S w/her kicking, scratching, biting, & saying she hates W. She doesn't do that to me. At the same time, she has separation anxiety from my wife. Guess since I left she's afraid everyone else will too. W is oblivious or won't see this behavior for what it is. W has been planning this since February and is desperately clinging to her plan. Although she is thrown off by how I have reacted to it-nothing like the old me would have. Is it possible to gain trust back when they just don't want to? Help!!! I'm in a new state w/absolutely no support system. W did mention that I seem further ahead than her.