New here, my fairytale gone wrong

[fthnluv]

So, here's my question for today: How in the world do I stop thinking about H and where our life is headed? I know I need to move on and GAL and act "as if" but I can't seem to square all that with still having hope which is combined with intense fear.

I am religious so I pray often each day, some days it seems as if I am praying nearly all day. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it seems as if it just keeps me thinking about it.

My life is just not turning out the way I thought it would and I (and my kids) certainly do not deserve this.

UGH. That's the nicest way to put it.