Thanks for stopping in and your feedback. I really appreciate it.
With respect to her schedule, I am pretty detached I think. Maybe I'm fooling myself, but her availability at night etc was referring more to her not letting me speak to the kids at night. That's what I don't like. I've managed to accommodate this a bit. It has been an issue for us though. She feels like me calling the kids is to actually check up on her, and she finds it very difficult to accommodate. Her line is that "this is your need, not the kids need". Which then starts into a diatribe on how she always met my needs. And I didn't meet hers.
I've really tried to show her appreciation for all the things that she's done in the past. She usually doesn't believe me or doubts my sincerity. I may need to change my delivery. I've been attempting the reflective listening, and it's hard. She feels like when I repeat what's she has just said l'm belittling her. I'm going to persist and maybe change the technique slightly to be less obvious. Thanks for sending the link.
As for appreciation, I agree with you. Not going to happen at this time. However, reinforcing the appreciation for the past is not a bad idea. Anything that fills her love bucket will help.
Implement and progress. Still no big blowups, which is in itself a good thing. Small baby steps, and who knows what will happen.
