Do I walk away from WAW? (1)

[1foot2]

Really struggling with if I can even DB right now. Took the boys to dinner last night, W went to "study". Came home and she was gone, noticed that she had showered, which people usually do before they go to a coffeeshop to hit the books. W did t come home. She texted this AM if I could drop off all three boys, and pay the babysitter. I replied "yup". Got them all ready before realizing she still had the key to our other car. Had to call her. 10 mins later she showed up w the key, and I intercepted her in the driveway to get it. She asked if I wanted help and I said "nope" and walked away. She left. Took all three boys to school/babysitter, and all were late.

Not sure if DB techniques still apply here. Part of me feels like she just has to go. There is something wrong with her. We have an 18 month old she barely sees. She was an obsessive, loving, focused mother with our oldest. Something broke and I can't make her fix it. I am still focusing on all the strategies, and my plan was to simply provide positive stability for my family, shielding them from her behavior, until the A dies out or she comes out of the fog. But this can't go on.

I need to have some kind of conversation with her about this, probably tonight, but I am terrified. I don't want to push her away, and I have resisted even establishing boundaries to avoid putting pressure on her. But she is taking advantage of this to the fullest, carving out more and more so that she's only doing the bare minimum. I know that she will say she WANTS to leave, on her own terms, but the reality is that it will take her months of "paycheck hoarding" to afford a new place (with me left paying all of the bills with less income) and even then I doubt she can pull this off. This feels totally impossible! I'm going to the gym.