Newbie Error- LRT too Soon- help!

[Bart42]

Thanks, Arcola. It's taken me a long time to calm down and not be so emotional, and am slowly detaching, but I am still thinking too much about her. Even my attorney during our initial consultation noted that I seem to be mentioning W more than my wants and needs. Its getting easier though. Still hard, but easier. Anyway, we meet with a divorce mediator today, so we'll see how that goes- its just an initial consult, so I'm not expecting too much but I'm doubtful W is going to agree to give up her cake eating and do this without lawyers.

I still haven't decided if I want a S or just do the D:

Separate: I'd still like to think there is a small chance to save the M, although at this point with all the deceit I'm not sure I could ever trust her again. I'd have to move out immediately, and I think I still need some time to detach and build my going forward life. Higher cost as legally speaking it is almost two divorce processes.

Divorce: Will take 6-12 months and will allow me to stay with my kids in the home for as long as I want to. However, lots of costs that will be wasted in the slim chance this turns around. But, we've got a good amount of assets and the sooner I file the better the legal protections for me.

Its been pretty dark around here this week, and I am travelling for work all next week. I guess W and I are just going to have to talk about this, because paying a mediator or a lawyer to negotiate for us is just throwing money out the window. I just need to figure out what I want first.

Meanwhile, the GAL continues- last night at dinner (in front of kids where W and I are pleasant and pretend its a happy home) W asked both about me reconnecting with an old friend I am seeing this weekend and brought up a class I signed up for- so maybe she's noticing I'm making plans on my future, but I doubt the A has ended, so in the end of the day it doesn't matter- gotta just focus on me.