Need help. Scared, confused, and hurting.

[Jefe]

Yesterday since applying a few of the principals in the 37 rules we had a little better communication, but who knows. I've done a lot of damage since she moved out with my mouth and actions because I didn't understand what the hell I was doing. I hope it's not too late.

Brief rundown:
Wife is employed part time at our church and, until the separation, we were both very involved in the church. A couple of the pastors are not happy with her at all about the separation and she knows if she follows through with more serious action, i.e divorce, legal separation, etc., that she could lose her job. There are several other people at the church and in her circle that have tried to tell her she is heading down the wrong path and she has distanced herself from them all. I can promise it’s not pleasant staying at her mom’s house (who is a complete enabler and supports my wife no matter what) so she stays gone as much as she can every single day/night. She has found another part-time job, which was the plan after school started anyway. She is busy every single night of the week and barely has time for the kids.
Up until this past Sunday the kids had no idea mommy didn’t live here. They thought she was just working late and going to church in the evenings and coming home after they go to bed, because my wife had been coming every single morning before they woke up to get them ready and take them to school and then picking them up every day after. That has not been happening in the last 2-3 weeks. At best she takes them and picks them up 1 or 2 days. She stays out till very late Mon, Tue, Fri, and Sat nights and is simply too tired to get here at 5:45 AM. Because of this, she decided to tell them “Mommy is spending the night at grandma’s for a few days”.
Things had been working in a very positive direction until around Aug 31st. Several things happened around that time frame so I am unsure what caused it or if it was just a combination of things. There are also many other underlying factors in our marriage situation but I’m trying to not write a book here and just give as many facts as needed for me to just get to work on getting my wife back.