Pilot , Lisa in same type of boat as you are. I am so fed up with this I can't tell you. Talk to kids principal today and filled them in on what is going on. I am through with all the bs. I am going away for 3 day weekend tomorrow night. No phone, watch, nothing. Going to do some serious reflecting on this last 8 months. The impact that this has had on me and my family. Do I really want anything to do with this waw anymore, the love I had for her is turning into bitterness, disappointment, and disbelief. The last 4 or 5 days I have felt my feelings for her disappear. I hv been freindly when talked too. But i have moved on in my mind. I realize that the best way to deal with this is to not include her in anyway, shape, or form. She has been non existent emotionally for me or kids. I sense she is seeing that in me and has been almost too freindly. It will take a big effort from her to turn this around and I am not going to court on it. Anyway it certainly can't get any worse than what we have all been thru. LOL
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Pilot , Lisa in same type of boat as you are. I am so fed up with this I can't tell you. Talk to kids principal today and filled them in on what is going on. I am through with all the bs. I am going away for 3 day weekend tomorrow night. No phone, watch, nothing. Going to do some serious reflecting on this last 8 months. The impact that this has had on me and my family. Do I really want anything to do with this waw anymore, the love I had for her is turning into bitterness, disappointment, and disbelief. The last 4 or 5 days I have felt my feelings for her disappear. I hv been freindly when talked too. But i have moved on in my mind. I realize that the best way to deal with this is to not include her in anyway, shape, or form. She has been non existent emotionally for me or kids. I sense she is seeing that in me and has been almost too freindly. It will take a big effort from her to turn this around and I am not going to court on it. Anyway it certainly can't get any worse than what we have all been thru. LOL
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
dang igit. I really hope you are not throwing the towel in just yet. You have put in so much effort so far, and sadly, your journey is in the final stages since your D is moving along. I know it is hard to fake affection when you really do not feel it, but hang in there buddy. you are in the last quarter of your game. who knows, maybe you will pull off the upset! Just no need to give up until the ref blows the whistle. Leave it all out there on the field!!
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
It's a definite roller-coaster of emotions, igit. I know it's frustrating to be put through so much garbage. You wonder how much more you can take while being drug through the sludge. Something that I find I have to do, on more than one occasion, is to step back and try to calm the emotional response. Hopefully the time away will help you to calm the crazy swirl of emotions.
M:35 W:31 S: 9 D: 5 M: 11.5 yrs BD: 5/13 W moved out: 7/13
Pilot thanks for the pick me up. Just so strange my w really seem to be reaching out yesterday. I just let it be. She got a tutorial permission slip sent from school. I don't know but I think it shook her up. Putting twins into special support. It stated school not responsible for self motivation and home environment which contribute to child's learning ability. Anyway I am not giving up. What I realize is we are not responsible for our W happiness. Hopefully they can figure it out. I actually feel a little different about the situation and know that there is not a lot I can do to help her figure it out.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
topgunb, thanks for the post. I am hanging tuff , that's all I can do! The kids are my main concern rt now. My WAW is a concern and I do feel some sadness in watching her do this to us. But I have broad shoulders and will get through to the other side. Whatever the other side is! my W is starting to see consequences of what a D does to kids with the issues they are having at school. And they don't even know a D is coming. My W is feeling guilt there is know other way around it! I am excited to get out of town for a few days and not have to deal with this for a few days.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Sometimes I wonder if our spouses truly believe that "the kids will will be fine" after divorce, or if it's just their way of rationalizing to justify their decision to walk away, or to engage in an A.
If they TRULY believe this, and it's not just misguided justification, then I think it becomes threatening to any chance of reconciliation -- particularly in my situation, where my W has actually said that she believes the kids will be BETTER OFF with us divorced. Just crazy.
But, I know that what she says and what she truly believes could be two different things.
M: 15 years BD: 6/25/14 EA/PA: starts 5/14/14 11/30/14 - A ends 5/15/15 - D is finalized. 11/28/15 - Start of new LTR with a wonderful woman (and still going strong)!
Sometimes I wonder if our spouses truly believe that "the kids will will be fine" after divorce, or if it's just their way of rationalizing to justify their decision to walk away, or to engage in an A.
All of the above. My H is convinced the kids already know. I spend a lot more time around them than he does, and I can assure you, they don't. I just hope he recognizes the hurt he has caused when he sees it.
