Yeah I see a few things here .. thank you for making me look at ME .. and what I can do .. I realize I need to stop focusing on HER. In some ways I have done things for me, things I have not told her nor feel a need to. I like who I am becoming ... but I miss the comfort of the family that I guess I always assumed would be there, sure we fought, but never did I think of leaving her.
The loss of Family is the longest and hardest part. I would say that you will never really get "over" it completely.
It's much the same as if your spouse would have passed. You will always miss the love, the comfort, and you will always miss that connection.
Truth is, YOU can still have that, and keeping your vows doesn't always include what she gives in return....
Keeping your vows, includes that you will always have love for her, you will honor her, and you will cherish her.
How different that looks ? Depends on you...
I still have love for my EX...
I still honor her decision to find happiness in her life, even if it isn't within a relationship with me...
I still cherish her and the memories, and children that we created together...
So, you will see, in time, that it is how YOU handle this...
And focusing on what she is doing TO you, isn't the healthiest thing emotionally, that you can do...
She isn't doing anything TO you.
She is doing this for HERself...
And in that process, YOU get to do the same thing....
Find something, anything, that gives your heart some peace, and do it for YOU....
Originally Posted By: CaliGuy
What am I afraid of, and what is holding me back , probably the same answer... its the rope. I know my head says drop it, she has to go through this and it will take a long time, she has turned into a person that I don't know anymore, and as I have been asked, do I love her, or the memory of her. That is tough, I am afraid of a broken family when I know we could have been so much better off ... but I know these things are out of my control regardless of my fears, I need to continue to give it to God and pray His plan has a better life for me, with or without her.
I am gonna go out on a limb here, and say that you are afraid that if you make too much progress, and go too far in the direction of YOU....
That you are afraid that she will never come and look for you, and that you will have moved too far ahead of her, and she won't/can't keep up...
Am I close ???
Well, that is certainly a risk that you must take huh ??
Because the alternative is even more scary....
It also doesn't mean that you "move ON" either....
It means that you move FORWARD for yourself....
And yes, finding the answer to that ^^^^ is very important...
And to answer that, you have to be TOTALLY honest with yourself...
