still waiting

[Ahoy]

I show love through acts of service, but I think H must have needed more touch and affirmation, for what it's worth.

bdub, my H is snipped too so at least I don't have to worry about him starting a second family (unless he gets a reversal). I DO have to worry about him contracting VD (although that's really his problem, not mine, since we're not intimate these days).

I got my credit card bill and the only charges were his, even though I had asked him to transfer recurring charges to his own card. This has been an ongoing issue. I sent him a copy of the bill and asked how he wanted to handle his charges (we have separate accounts now), and mentioned that, because of a weird charge from last month that we couldn't determine, I was going to cancel that card so he should move over any recurring charges (his gym, website charge, etc.) This way I won't have to keep having the same conversation with him about misplaced charges every month. Then I cancelled the card, so one less thing to worry about. We determined that I would pay for his gym fee out of our joint account, since it wasn't much, and I told him he could reimburse me for the movie charges by bringing me some coffee (he had written to tell me that he was coming by to work in garage studio, which is at my place). BTW, he is paying for my health insurance through the end of this year in exchange for use of the studio. In Jan, I will start charging him rent or have some other means of reimbursement.

So he came over -- I was thankful for the coffee and friendly while he played with the cats (which he misses). D took him upstairs to see her new guitar from my dad (and he got to see how I converted his study into a music room). He cleared out one side of the garage (as requested) so I could park my car in there (he is a pack rat). And he also worked on his own art, I assume.

D and I had been invited to dinner with two of his friends and colleagues (who are also my friends). I didn't want him to feel excluded, so we left early to go to the library and then went to dinner from there so he wouldn't ask. (Not that he ever asks me anything these days.)

So here is my question: Why does he never ask anything about my private life? I thought this process of being mysterious might peak his curiosity in me and my life, but he seems wholly disinterested. Is it because he is so caught up in himself and his own head? Or is he glad to think I'm moving on so he can be free, and truly just doesn't even care what I'm doing?

Also, does he dream about me? (I KNOW no one can answer this -- it's rhetorical.) I dream about him constantly still, much to my chagrin.

Wish I had that memory-erasing stuff from "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind."