When you mentioned about keeping the house cleaner I did it to show her that I could do it and that she could live back in the house and not have all the pressures of the house work on her own . And one of the things I used to say when she would ask me for help was " our son is up stairs and hasn't been out of his room all day maybe he should help" And I realise that this would have caused issues regards my relationship with my son and W .
The more I think about this the more I'm realising that so many issues are around my relationship with my son and me , and the way she perceived how I was treating him . Maybe my past looking after my brothers and sisters , makes me want my son to help out more around the house and when he doesn't it causes me frustrations with him and then I get into a spiral of getting annoyed angry with him and then just shut of from communicating with him because his attitude is different to what I believe it should be .
Even know with W gone he still takes a lot of asking to do anything around the house .
An example is yesterday I was at work all day so when I went I asked him to Hoover up and empty the dishwasher . When I got home he hadn't done anything but made a mess , ok he had to go to college for a few hours . I ask him why and he said he went to bed when he got home and only just recently woke up. If W was at home this would have resulted in an argument with her defending him saying he is tired and me replying maybe he shouldn't have stayed up till gone midnight watching lost .
So what I did was I did it myself and just asked him if he could try and help out a bit more in the future .
W thinks he suffers from low self esteem and depression .
My son has got counselling next week and I really hope it helps him .
Me 40 W 37 Together 22 years S18 D12 WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life After the 2 weeks she has left .
