Need help

[lostluv]

I'm 42, wife 33
Married for 4 yrs, together for 6 yrs
We have a daughter that will be turning 3 in a couple months.

Where do I start......In June my wife told me that she was ready to "check out" of the marriage. She said issues have been building for a few years. I did everything wrong, cried, begged, criticized, snooped and found she had been telling a friend about a male coworker , accused her if at least an emotional affair, ......basically everything I did on my part is what I have been told to absolutely NOT do. I panicked and was scared! We had been trying to conceive for a yr and a half and she was in fertility drugs and I thought maybe part if it was stress and hormones.

We have been going to a counselor for almost two months (once a week) but things aren't getting any better. My wife says she doesn't live me anymore and feels I wasn't there for her for the past few years and said she might as well be a single parent.
I've admitted all my faults and have done everything I can to change ME for the better and correct my future actions. She said she feels like she has no freedom and she is under a microscope. I've done a 180 as far as helping more with my daughter and household stuff.

The idea of a separation has been brought up but it's not really feasible financially and I REALLY don't want to do it....but I know she thinks it may be better. The counselor said even if we dint actually do it, it should be a conversation to have even if it is a two week temporary with rules. I would have to stay w a friend for a couple weeks.

My problem is (well one of them) is I don't feel it is the route we should go. I'm terrified and break Down frequently crying and am on an emotional roller coaster.

One original complaint if hers was not being there and not helping enough....if we separate I feel it would be taking a step back because I wouldn't be there to help take daughter to day care, chores, watch my daughter if my wife wants to go do something, etc.

I'm trying to hold back and give her space but it's extremely hard! I feel if I hold back she will think I don't care and have given up. My heart tells me to just continue doing the things to help her and make her feel loved, even if there is no reciprocation.

We are on the edge and I don't want to make anymore mistakes and push her away

What should I do? Desperate and determined to work it out and build a better relationship than we ever had before..... Unfortunately it's one sided at this time.