Magingmagic, where'dja go??

[makingmagic]

Hi Blue_Sky... tx for the support, although I am not deserving of it quite yet.

Both Saturday night & last night I was pushy... to the point where he claimed "PRESSURE"... so, after 2x4's to myself, I vow to get back in the "waiting" line.

Yes, I may have leaned to the pressure side, but at the same time.... "IF" he is not wanting the same things I do & giving me what I need..."

Yesterday, I knew he had other interest to cut grass however, he also expressed a minor interest in hanging out with me after work. So, instead of letting him "ask".. I suggested it & then it got whittled away and he claimed "pressure". He said let him do the "asking"... Instead of me being all ok & no problem about it (casual), I asked him why he didn't want to & he took that as pressure. I DO NOT WANT ANYONE WHO FEELS being with me is PRESSURE!!

Approx 10 mins later, I did what OLD MM does... she called him to "fix".... I explained that I was not interested in pressuring him, just that I wanted him to see it as wanting to enjoy his company. I left it at that. (2X4)

Approx 2 hours later, he sends a text saying that he was feeling better and had finished cutting the grass & was cooling off out of the pool & cheers. I replied "I understand. Enjoy some TV & beer. Cheers" Then he sends another one stating that he is not relaxing that he has just dug out a work project.... I did not reply.

Today, its such a nice day & he was feeling pressured by a client. He was anxious for client to leave so that he could leaave & enjoy the pool before our next appointment. He "kinda" offered for me to go over, suggesting that I didnt have much time. I declined.

I declined because I want to give space. I don't want to give sad looks (puppy dog pressure). I don't want to assume & pretend everything is back to what it was... its not. THIS requires work & patience (and I need to pull back). It is clear that I cannot start planning & expecting him to do certain things. Don't set myself or the beginning of us to fail.

I see now that I need to stay back & wait for him to complete whatever he needs to complete (journey & responsibilities), without pressure &/or my comments.

Meanwhile... I need to get busy... so that My focus isn't on him.

At this point, everything else should take a priority over him. He can come 2nd, until I become his 1st.

Wish me luck.