W went to BIL sentencing .. as predicted it did not go well. All I could do was validate, and offered an ear if she wanted .... she pushed me away as I figured, so I did my GaL and went to my Softball game. She told me earlier in the day she needed space, so I told her I would let her be and to hit me up if she needed anything. She TM later, just business as usual about S. Then she called towards the end of the day, I was nice, sincere .. not to much PMA considering the result of the sentencing. She started in on how she was feeling and I just validated, she changed the subject asking about my pending move, (I have been fighting the anger that came up reminding me of when she left me and looking back now at why) So I just talked short, she pressed ... asked if I was mad at her over that, I said no, I am not mad at you over me moving. then she pressed more .... I basically said I had told her boundaries last month, and she acts as if that conversation didn't happen, she said she recalls the talk, but thinks I am controlling, and basically looks at me just as S's father and has not shown me anything otherwise over the past 4 weeks...That hurt and pissed me off... and made me feel like saying F it and dropping the rope on the spot. I told her I was not going to fight, nor get emotional ... and if thats how she felt then that is who I will be.
She has since TM me from last night to this morning, obviously hurting from the BIL sitch, saying when I say that she does this or that (I am not sure what she was refering to other than in the heated argument I told her it would be impossible for her to feel romantic with me when she gave that part of her to another .... maybe not the right thing, but its the truth) it pushes her away from me, using my angry voice ... (something I have been making progress on .. but she still can press a button or two and get me going). We talked this morning on the phone, I did well .. considering the anger she has .. its escalated ... not about me .. nor anything I did .. its BIL, seems that put her back in a tunnel for a bit.
I think I am going to detach, let her come and ask for me, she knows I am here if she needs me .... I dont think I want to do any family type things ... but I know that would help her ... I am not sure on this .. she uses that to gain herself then feels better and off she goes .. I just am not sure anymore .. time to read DL more.
