You are still pretty fresh with all of this. So it IS gonna sting for a bit...
Just realize that it only stings as much as YOU allow it to sting....
As for the rest...???
I found that I placed too much power into my MLCer's hands and allowed fear to hold me back...
So it wasn't that I didn't know what I wanted to do. It was because I was too afraid to make MY plans to get there...
It also changed for me, when I realized that my MLCer wasn't doing this TO me. And that she was doing this for herself...
And when that happened, I figured out that I had the SAME option. To find out who I was, without all of the MLC head spinning and guilt that the MLCer feels....
So whats holding YOU back ????
Mach1
Yeah I see a few things here .. thank you for making me look at ME .. and what I can do .. I realize I need to stop focusing on HER. In some ways I have done things for me, things I have not told her nor feel a need to. I like who I am becoming ... but I miss the comfort of the family that I guess I always assumed would be there, sure we fought, but never did I think of leaving her. What am I afraid of, and what is holding me back , probably the same answer... its the rope. I know my head says drop it, she has to go through this and it will take a long time, she has turned into a person that I don't know anymore, and as I have been asked, do I love her, or the memory of her. That is tough, I am afraid of a broken family when I know we could have been so much better off ... but I know these things are out of my control regardless of my fears, I need to continue to give it to God and pray His plan has a better life for me, with or without her.
