afraid I have waited too long #4

[nit84]

Ahoy, No I didn't take your post as criticism.

I always swept things under the rug until something set me off mostly alcohol or my MIL then I would say mean things that I never would say sober. I have taken care of the drinking part and I have no contact with MIL(not my choice) so it is much better.

I now just maybe over think my steps before taking them meaning Maybe I should say something right away when a behavior happens instead of letting it repeat before I mention that I feel it is disrespectful. This where the "doormat" part sneaks in.

The reason I do this is to make sure I have my facts straight. No good comes from getting upset at something that is born from fear or anxiety.

I also, as Riley suggests above, have learned great patience in order to hopefully reach my goal in the right amount of time to give me the greatest chance of a successful ending.

I rarely start a conversation, I let my W do it but when she does is when I try to ask the clarifying questions.

I have maybe a handful of times really wanted to ask my W a question so I did but it is few and far between.

@ Riley I have tried to stay civil as much as I can. I do backslide occasionally with those sarcastic remarks I spoke about above.

I have been labeled as a rescuer by my IMC and I am doing a good job at letting stuff go that in the past I would have tried to control or fix.

Not sure if my W notices this as she was the one being rescued but I notice it and so do other family and friends.

Thanks for posting!!