still holding on - 4

[u-turn]

Thank you Peter!


You could support her in going for that job change that would separate her from working with the OM. That's a step in the right direction.

I have definitely supported this job change - it may be a long process, but I am encouraged by it being out there. I don't think it is, in her mind, to remove herself from the OM, but maybe it is part of it. I'm sure she knows what I am thinking though.

I seems your W is coming out of the woods. Remember that although the A may be over, she may still have some feelings for the OM and that will come and go in waves. Be patient with her as she grieve the loss of that friendship.

I have not approached the subject of handing over the phones and e-mail. I do believe that she will think that is a power move against her independence too. I also don't think it will be completely valuable either (more symbolic than anything - anything can still be hidden and it's been mostly from her work phones and accounts).I do worry that she will have no intention to end the friendship even if the affair has ended. She would really have to know how this friendship is working against us and maybe always will. I don't know how I handle this.

It seems impossible for her to imagine if all of these roles were reversed and we all wore each other's shoes. That drives my compassion right now, but I don't think she can see what she has done.

I do feel like I am giving her what she is asking for right now. I don't know if she is asking for it for her or for me. But things are changing. I've asked for movement and I seem to be getting it, I wonder if I am always going to be doubtful.

Thanks for spending time with me Peter. I value your input.