From what I got out of that it sounds like your W's plan is falling apart. That's good for you and not out of place for id say most WAS's. If its any comfort a WAS acts like a 16 year old spoiled brat - they want financial security, the LBH as a fall back all while going out partying and with no responsibility. This behavior has to be flushed out by the WAS and no other, don't give her anything to appease her. I guarantee that if you stay civil in emails, text, in person she will regret what she does in time. The waking up process takes so much longer than we would like it to, patience is a virtue friend.
Keep your head up and don't get twisted by anything short of a WAS crawling back over broken glass. they will test your resolve by resisting you as well as possibly sexual advances, it really is a sick behavior. Only you know her best, good luck.
"Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing, and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you. And stay." ~ Will Smith
