You are correct about this. Let me expand more on the issues between my SIL and my W.
A year ago we decided to plan a wedding. We were already married at the courthouse. This already shows how private I normally keep things from the family. We didn't even told our families about our marriage until 6 months later. Back to the wedding plans, my W was jobless at the time we started to plan from the wedding. In fact, she lost her job for a total of 6 months and I took care of everything during that time. It wasn't until January of this year that she actually found a very good job at an investments firm. During the planning of the wedding, she opened up to me and confessed how sad she was because her family was not as close to her as my family was. In fact, she felt closer to my family than to her own family. I did not really understand why because, after meeting her family, they seemed to be great people. As a result, my W chose my SIL to be the Maid of Honor.
But with the past of the time things changed. My W reconnected with her family and she added more girls to the bridal party. This was a good thing because I saw that she was finally reconnecting with her cousins and friends. Again, I wasn't sure why she was so disconnected from them. According to my W, at some point in her life she had issues with almost all of her family. Most of these issues relate to the trauma she lived as a child, in which her father abused her for nearly 7 years. She fell rejected and abandoned because nobody cared about her well being after she finally got free from all of that horrible situation. But there were strong reasons of why her family could not contact her. There was a protection order against her mother's side of the family so they could not even contact her until she turned 18.
During the wedding plans things got a little heated between my W and SiL. My SiL speaks mostly spanish so she will rely messages to me and then I will rely these messages to my W. One of the major things that sparked these arguments was the fact that my SiL personally spoke with my W multiple times and told her that she would feel more comfortable if she (my W) would just tell her (SiL) what to do or what kind of dress and shoes my W wants her to wear, instead of meeting with the rest of the wedding party to discuss these things. In other words, my SIL did not feel comfortable talking to the rest of the bridal party because she did not really knew them and she had an extremely hard time understanding them. My SIL basically said "You guys decide whatever you want, and I will just go with the flow, no matter how much it costs. Just tell me what you want me to wear or if you need help from me." My W understood this at first, but then she made a Whatsapp group for the bridesmaids and included my SiL. Again, my SiL called me and asked me to please take her out of the Whatsapp because she kept receiving too many txts from the bridal party. Keep in mind that most of the girls from the bridal party didnt have a job, so they will text literally all day long. So my W took her out of the Whatsapp group. Then a week later, my W gave my SiL phone number to the matron of honor, which was my W's SiL. She gave her the phone number without my SiL consent. Then my SiL received a text message from the matron of honor with instuctions on when to get the dress, what kind of shoes to wear, etc. My SiL got upset at this point and texted me saying that she would prefer for my W to communicate with her instead of the other girls who were strangers to her, and that she does not appreciate the fact that my W gave her phone number away without consulting her first. The original message from my SiL sounded very harsh, but that was basically what she meant.
Things got very heated up, and at this point I was upset with my SiL. I mean, she could been less mean in the text message or at least she could of text my W instead of me. Since we didnt replied to her text message, she later wrote back and said that she didnt wanted to be in the wedding party anymore. After this I had couple conversations with my brother and then finally my SiL decided to be back to the wedding party. But my W was not happy and wanted to talk to my SIL, which was a very fair request. But as time passed by, my W tried many times to speak to her during family events but my SIL was acting indifferent towards her. It wasnt until a week and a half before the wedding (my birthday) when my W finally confronted her. Things did not turned out well, because my SIL always had the understanding that she was still part of the wedding party. This confusion was a result of a comment that my W made to me a month before the wedding. She literally said "Look, if you SiL wants to walk, let her walk. I dont want to add more drama to all of this. Lets just have fun and forget about all of this." As a result, I thought also that my SiL was going to walk. My SiL and W argued over the phone for this misunderstanding, as my SiL already bought her dress and shoes according to my W's request months ago.
After this unfortunate event, we met with my uncle. After an hour long conversation he asked us to make peace with my brother and SiL because of the potential long term damage that this whole situation can cause. He said he understands both sides and that he sees that my SiL was being insensitive. 5 days before the wedding we met with my brother and SiL at my aunt's house. My aunt and uncle acted as mediators. We apologized first for the misunderstanding and expressed that we would like to move forward. But then my B and SiL started to talk and make their point. At this point things started to get heated up, because apparently my W and SiL had separate conversations that I didnt know about. In these conversations they spoke about my SiL walking with the rest of the wedding party. But my W denied all of this, which cause my SiL to look like a liar. Then my SiL tried to physically attack my W. I stood between them and I yelled at my SiL. Things were out of control. But then I saw the light. Apparently it was also my fault because there was information that I did not rely to my wife, which made my wife also look as a liar. I truly apologized for this misunderstanding and then things started to cool down. At the end, my wife went and hugged my SIL while telling her "I dont want u to be mad at me". My SiL then said to my W "I'm sorry for everything" at least 3 times while crying very hard. Then my bro asked my wife if it was okay for them to be part of the wedding party, to which my wife promptly replied 'yes'. Then right after that, my wife said that she always wanted my SiL to be part of the wedding party. Everything was going well.
We had a pleasant conversation the rest of the afternoon. I took my W aside and asked her how she was feeling about all this. She said she doesnt want any drama so she decided to drop it. But she also expressed to me that she was very upset with me because of the misunderstanding that I caused. Then we went home.
Then 4 days later was the rehearsal night which I described earlier in this post. Please, feel free to ask any questions. Have a blessed day!
