still waiting

[Ahoy]

Got some great advice from a friend yesterday. She pointed out that I was making myself crazy by sitting on the fence whether I should push to end things earlier by getting the paperwork started or commit to waiting. She said, what kind of person do you want to see yourself as when this is over -- someone who was patient or someone who was reactive. Good point! I do want to act out of love, not fear. So she said, you have to commit to one direction or another for your own sanity. So I'm committing to waiting until January, and possibly longer, unless he initiates things earlier. It's still hard at times, but this was advice I needed to hear. So I'm releasing the anxiety I have about being in limbo. This is just where I am; nothing is changing at the moment; and whatever change comes my way I am capable of handling, so I don't need to be afraid.

Having dinner with sweet friends who invited me and D14 out to dinner, then wine and a movie with neighbor friends on Friday, going to hear live music followed by a bonfire at my place with D's friend's family Saturday. Yesterday D and I did yoga and played racketball. It's been fun GAL with her as well -- opens up new interactions in our relationship as well.

Thanks for all the support this week. I think the fear and anxiety related to the health issues/health insurance really got me down. But there are no guarantees in this life, are there?