Walk away partner after 22 years . First post

[25yearsmlc]

Right I'm getting really angry . And sat with tears running down my face listening to my daughter singing .

My daughter is signed to a artist development contract which cost a lot of money each month me and the WAW pay half each but I realise that this will end in the very near future and it will break my daughters heart .

why are you paying for your d to sing? IS she studying? I mean, Iif you have a "contract" then what are you paying for?

(Out here in Hollywood, there's a scam that has "actors/actresses" paying people to "help" their careers. That's not right or how it's supposed to go).

If a person is an honest manager or agent, that manager/agent helps the actor/singer get work, and it's from that work, they are paid. NOT from the actor's pocket (or singer's pocket, as the case may be).

Just be careful you are getting the right deal. There's a "rule" out here that says "if the artist has to pay, there's a better way" meaning that you are being ripped off. But perhaps you meant she is being trained or tutored or coached in singing...

Also, our family therapist said to PROTECT your kids and that includes NOT pointing out all the things they'll have less of. Focus on what is NOT going to change in your kids' lives, such as if they are remaining in the same area, school and friends will still be the same. If you will live near where you are now, stress that and all the friends she'll still see. Same church, same teams, etc...

Be specific and detailed about when your kids will see YOU and or their mom also. And keep your word, so make NO promises you cannot keep.


When I hear my daughter sing which she is currently doing at a studio all I keep thinking about is how much her heart is going to be broke when this ends .

Shift the negative "stinking thinking" Into a positive. Like how beautiful her voice is. Even if she stops singing in that place, she still have her voice.


I blame my WAW and the OM who has pursued my W and will find it very hard not to want to get revenge on him .

How is the blaming helping you? Oh, it's NOT is it? How is that "Goal" of revenge making you feel inside? All warm and fuzzy, or all consuming?

Whenver you are asked about the problems in the m, I have yet to hear you own any of it.

Surely YOU can see you played a role in this, right? And btw, OM is not the cause of the marital problems; he's a symptom. And it does not help you at all, to blame him and or your w.

You only control you so work on you. (Your wife is not here, trying to save the m, you are. So we can only help YOU to work on you). So far I have no idea what YOUR issues are with your wife or what you need to work on b/c you are very vague when those questions come up, or you blame external factors or your wife going thru "stressful" times. Nothing that you did or omitted doing.

That does not help you or the cause. I hope you'll soon see that when you OWN your stuff, you can change it. And that is empowering. It means things are Not hopeless, you can do something about this!

The BEST NEWS a marriage counselor can give you is that YOU have work to do, b/c then you can start doing it. ((( See, if you were a perfect husband -- and yet your wife still left you ---, that would be HORRIBLE nightmare. Yes it'd be worse than what you are dealing with now. B/C if you were perfect & she still left, then it means this could always happen to you! You're in a hopeless situation then. )))

So, See your flaws as opportunities for improvement (Which they are) And work on them and be glad you know what to work on.

IF you truly have no idea what you can improve upon, DIG DEEPER and BE BRAVE.
The real journey in life is an inward one.

This can be a time of growth and insight and an awakening, or you can keep blaming others and being angry.

Which do you think will help your situation the most? OR your kids?




And to be honest all the people that know me are amazed that I haven't smashed him onto loads of little pieces already .
But all that stops me is my lovely kids but what I might do when my daughters heart is broken I'm not sure .

Give me strength to not do anything stupid

South, you need to show us you're serious about wanting to save your marriage.

So far, I'm not sure you have even read ONE of the books that form the basis of this site's belief system. Don't take short cuts to a restored marriage, b/c there are none.

Figure out where You played a role in these issues and start working on them. What would your WIFE SAY were the issues you ought to work on?

And now, is there ANY validity to any of those? There -you have a starting point!!