What to do when an EA involved?

[Hoju]

I understand what you mean by saying I'm there for support and then leaving. Also you are right about me being uncomfortable with her emotions, I will discuss this with my IC next time I see her. She has been very good with helping to get me to open up more.

We did a lot with other people, alone and as a couple. Our walks were great we would talk and just enjoy each others company, we would also talk while making dinner and car pooling to and from work.

The IVF became an issue financially because I felt like I was carrying the entire burden of it myself. We made similar salaries and always kept our finances separate except for a joint account for shared house hold expenses. When it came time to do the first round of IVF it was all of my savings that were used, same with the down payment on the house and the lump sum pay down towards the house. W kept saying she wanted to help contribute and felt bad for never having any money to help out but she was never willing to ever sacrifice anything from her social calendar.. or those new shoes.. or that new dress.. or those expensive all natural facial cleansers. I was left to sacrifice the things I wanted (new computer, hockey, boys weekend in jersey, snowboard trip, etc.) so as you can imagine when she would ask me to spend a couple hundred dollars to go see a concert I wasn't really into I would protest and say I didn't have the money, she would however still go with her friends.

I feel the OM has a huge edge because W is in love with the honeymoon phase, it's hard to compete with that when someone wont give you the time of day. Also, to many people know now and she has moved out, she has pot committed herself to seeing this through. Also I believe OM is a long time friend, truly coming back would mean not only giving up OM but giving up her friends too as they all run in the same circle.

I believe she fell in love with me because I'm responsible, nice and caring. I've been trying to show her I'm still that guy by not fighting her wishes. However she seems to want to be a care free party girl now and doesn't seem to have any interest in settling down and having kids with a genuinely good guy.

I've read all of DR, I haven't done DB yet. I'm reading 5LL now and will be reading "connecting through yes" next. If you can recommend any other good books I've found a new affinity for reading.

IC is going very well, we are working on my emotions and discovering it's ok to cry and let others see your hurt. GAL is great, I've always had lots of options open I would just skip them to spend time with W. My IC recommended a site where you can meet people to just get together with to do things, I've been active there trying new things.