Funeral for a husband, love lies bleeding

[cczamo]

journal update: 2 weeks ago my exH told me that he felt uncomfortable bringing his two dogs over to my back yard on a daily basis for day care, so he had made "other arrangements" for his dogs (formerly MY dogs).

Fast forward to last week, I asked exH on Thursday if we could arrange once a month visitation. He said one word, and loudly, "NO!" So Friday, i stayed home from work, and savored every moment with them, and took videos and lots of pictures. When exH showed up after only 2 hours to pick them up, I went out to give each dog one last hug, and I broke down into an unexpected "ugly cry." I then said that I hoped he might find it in his heart to someday change his mind, since permanently losing them was killing me. He turned without saying anything, and walked off.

The next day, which was last Saturday, he emailed me that he'd disconnected his cell phone number (that he'd had since 1989) and he could only be reached at a new gmail email address. I thought that was weird.

Then this evening, i got a call from an out of town area code number. It was a woman who'd found a small brown and white dog, BY THE INTERSTATE FREEWAY, with my phone number on his tag. And she is in small town 80 miles away from Dallas, and coincidentally where the married OW lives!

Since I no longer have a cell phone # for him, I decided to call his office phone. Well it was his voice on a v.m. saying he was no longer employed there. OMG!!!

I called the woman back who'd found dog, and mentioned that I had NO telephone # to reach exH, but sent her # to his new email address. I did mention to the woman that exH had a friend in her town, and proceeded to tell her the OW name. This lady said she slightly knew the OW, and mentioned that she just saw OW last weekend WITH OW's HUSBAND at some store.

Now, I cant help but wonder if he's moved out to her town to stalk the OW, or if OW is seeing ExH while staying married. I know I should not think about this, but today has been bizarre!

So, my exH has finally knocked over that last of the 4 pillars of MLC I've read about (body-he's lost 40 lbs, home-he moved out of, relationship-he divorced me, job-either quit or fired).

Amazingly, I felt nothing! NO sadness or hurt about discovering he's left his job and followed OW to her town. I am only really concerned about my (his) dogs safety and welfare. If someone would have told me 9 months ago that I would NOT feel ANYTHING in this situation, I would NEVER have believed it!
Praise the Lord!
btw, exH tonight emailed 2 words- "all okay", which I interpret that Google is safe as is Pixie.