My son lives with me. He is an extraordinary young man...warm, loving, kind and compassionate. He is my biggest blessing in this life. Still struggles with his health and other things. He has been through a great deal. But he is ok, thank you.
I know it is so hard when they leave. But it's what we want for them - wings to soar.
I know the guilt is so difficult. Life rarely works out the way we plan. It isnt a lacking in you that it didnt, S. It just goes that way sometimes no matter our best intentions. But I know it hurts, as a mother, not to have things go as we hope. We want so much for our children.
I remember one time I said to my son, when I was early into this, "I am sorry I couldnt keep our family together. It wasnt what I wanted nor what I hoped. For you...or me." He said, "Mom, you love me so much. I know that without a single doubt. I know you didnt want this because I know how much you love your family. But it is going to be ok as long as you are."
You didnt fail, S. You didnt. You loved and you lived and then this crisis was destined to happen. You couldnt love it away. It started long before you were married.
Your kids may have some anger towards you and they may not. But they know they are loved and that matters. It speaks volumes about them that they dont make you feel badly about any of it and they have compassion for him. And you are right, they just want you to be happy.
Good for you for not touching their relationship with your h. T
No, you couldnt fix it or make it better for everyone. You dont have that kind of power, sweetie, and it's not your job.
You didnt imagine what you had. Those memories were real. Dont let this taint them. He loved you. You loved him. It happened.
This doesnt have anything at all to do with that. I know that is so hard to believe, but, it's true. You dont become someone else without going through a crisis. You just dont.
Please dont do this to yourself. He was an adult. He made the decision to marry you. You could have been perfect. It wouldnt have mattered. He was broken and it spilled over.
It is unbelievable how this happens. How your life changes in a moment.
That's why it is important not to waste this opportunity to make something out of the devastation. It's what we have to do in order to make some sense of it.
You will come out the other side, Shining, and you will be better than ok.
