I can be the lighthouse but not the tugboat

[daring]

Thanks 2B!
I seem to be hitting a new phase of the LBS cycle and process- there is more anger lately, though I know that will pass. But there's also more of a " I am getting really tired of this and I have no interest in spending concentrated time with you right now as I deserve better".

I'm not ready to throw in the towel, or to date or anything else. But lately I'm just feeling different.
He showed me his new apt this past weekend and I was really annoyed. It was clean and tidy and not filled with the mess or the beauty of 20 years of family living. That really struck me for some reason and I didn't want to be there. I said I was going to head out and he kept saying " you don't have to leave, you can stay" like he really wanted me there. ( kids are staying with him his week too). But I didn't want to stay. Previously I would look for any opportunity to interact or demonstrated my 180s but nope- I just wanted some peace and alone time.
This week he has tried out some suggestive flirting, and I'm just not interested in that either. Before I would want to be sure I responded and or even ML to try and keep the connection going but right now I have no interest. And I'm ok with it. And I'm not worried about his reaction.
I seem to be cycling between a couple days of emotional mess and the new levels of detachment. I'm enjoying the quiet time right now.

I also just learned that a dear friend is going through the same thing. She knew about my sitch and wanted to talk Tonight since she knew I would understand. We are going to plan some girl trips that will be good for both of us.
I can see how far I've come I talking with her- I don't wish this on anyone but I've grown in the process. Staying focused on the positives and on ME!!