3 months after BD, the roller coaster ride hurts

[gan]

Devotee, head on over to my thread. I'm grappling with the kid thing too. I think that is partly what got me into this sitch (my anxieties about H putting off children led me to become a bit of a crazy person in the 6 months before separation...). Part of me feels pressure to move on quickly so that I can find someone who does want to have kids with me. But deep down I want to save my M. I've done a lot of thinking about kids and if not having them is a deal breaker. Ultimately I think I've decided that I can be fulfilled without having kids…but the M would need to be better than what it had been.

DR is great though without kids there is less opportunity to interact once you separate. I have found some of the approaches difficult to implement given the lack of contact (limited opportunity to show 180s, PMA or be mysterious). PMA and GAL work great for me though.

You are still living together so I encourage you not to jump to physical separation if you can handle it. Read DB/DR *now* and try to get some 180s/GAL going while you are still under your H's watch.