We try to encourage posters to select a close friend to talk to about the situation. Parents, family, co-workers and general friends don't understand what is happening and they want to see you happy and not hang around in limbo.
We all have had this problem during the journey. The best thing to do is not to share too much of what is going on w/those who haven't walked a mile in your shoes. It's best to come here and vent, share, laugh, etc. or to your IC or MC. It saves you the frustration, aggravation and hurt of trying to defend your position. You have the power to shut the conversations down w/people either by saying I don't wish to discuss the matter at this time or change the subject.
As for discussions w/your h about the situation, please stop it. The more you talk to him about the relationship, the more likely he will finally push for the divorce. Leave him alone, avoid relationship talks, unless, of course, you want a divorce.
You need to detach a bit more and keep the focus on yourself and your family.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
