joli, I'm not going to pretend that I understand your situation, I don't. But I believe you have come here looking to save a relationship, just like I did, and I'll share with you two things I learned.
One is that your M as you knew it is over. That was one of the first things someone said to me, but it took a while for that to sink in. For the longest time, I just wanted my life back. I slowly realized that not only was the M I knew over, that was a good thing because I wasn't all that thrilled with it, either. I now have the hope of a new improved life with the same guy, but I also know that may not happen and I'm at peace with it.
Two is that DBing, especially GAL, does YOU a world of good, even if it doesn't repair your R. DBing is not being "standoffish". It's focusing on you, what you need to change about yourself, and leaving your W to figure out what she needs to do without trying to control, pressure, or pursue her. Given enough space, she may figure out that you are in fact a great guy, especially after she sees the changes you are making for yourself. Or she may not. But you are better off than you would have been.
