Mindsin - pt. 4 (the countdown begins)

[25yearsmlc]

Is she saying that you do not understand how to take care of her? Maybe she means you dont "get" her and OM does.

I say let OM take care of her, he will get tired of it real quick.

Except that Mindsink is DBing, he has a coach, & he's taking a DB approach. He's not trying to "teach his wife a lesson"...and btw, Bdub, have you read the DB books? I don't get the feeling you have. No offense.


Mindsink, whether she believes you cannot OR will not do this, to ME is not as important as you just handling it and proving --both that you DO care, and that you CAN do it. Problem solved.

I mean, that way you solve it regardless.

If this is one of her love languages (acts of service) I would get on it fast.
(Isn't it one of her LLs?)

And like you said, you reacted defensively in the moment (another reason for you to learn new positives ways of handling things)

In the heat of the moment, we don't want you to revert to defensive or attacking behaviors, right?

So you really need some positive role models. That means getting to know people who KNOW HOW to do conflict resolution, and don't "Lose it" a lot. Learn from them, and model their behavior.

Also, in the future, maybe you can communicate more directly. This could be a teachable moment instead of a 'problem." For instance,

"W, no need to be upset, I didn't realize it was so time sensitive. I planned on doing it "later/ "during X'/ ETC) but I can do it now. Will that work for you?"

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This a chance for you to show that you are doing her a favor on HER timeline, correct? If you choose to do that, I think it'll be noted, and if you choose not to, the same thing will happen.

AND Mindsink, if it's done for her but done "too late" then she's probably not counting it at all),

As for what is going on with the OM, or how tech savvy he is, who cares?

this is about YOUR LIFE, not his.

How about a post that has NO mention of him or his wife, and only speaks of your growth and healing, or a new GAL or some other 180s?


I'm Looking forward to that!