afraid I have waited too long #4

[nit84]

This happened over the weekend,

W was home early Friday night around midnight. then sometime in the middle of the night between 1 a.m. and 5 a.m. she went back out. Came home at 7:00 a.m.

I was leaving to do my normal Saturday Morning routine when she came home. I said nothing.

When I came back she was in the kitchen and I asked if things were ok? She shook her head yes but didn't look at me.

I left the room. a little later she was leaving and her car wouldn't start. she fumbled around a bit I let her go then after she checked the oil and tried to start it again I went over to ask what the problem was.

She said her car is dying she needs a new one. I asked whats wrong with it and she got upset and said she didn't want to talk about it. I said ok and went back to what I was doing. It started and she left.

When she came back we again were in the kitchen together and I asked about her Mom. she told me some stuff and I was leaving room when she decided to tell me all that is wrong with the car. It will cost over 2000.00 just for parts she said. so that is why it is not inspected because it is cheaper for her to get a ticket. My Father always fixed our cars so I asked if she got a 2nd opinion from a local mechanic and not a dealer. she said no one can fix it it is too bad. Besides, she said I got my money out of it.

The car has 105,000 miles on it but it is a reliable brand if taken care of. I have had this brand and got of 200,000 out of them so I know it would last a couple more years if it was cared for. Not saying she didn't but once things pile up that go wrong it seems insurmountable.

I went out again and when I came back she was doing laundry and I notice some Male clothing again. This is the 4th or 5th time this has happened in the past 2 months.

I had yet to say anything to her about my feelings on this subject. thinking what good would it do anyhow?

Well, I guess I finally had enough. I asked when will she be done washing her clothes because I wanted to do some of mine. She answered with an attitude Why? This caught me off guard a bit and I said because I want to do mine just wondered how long but no worries.

Then I said it. When will you be done with his laundry I asked. She stopped and looked away and said You need to worry about yourself before others. I said I am worried about myself and doing a great job at it. She smirked and I said why can't he or you just throw quarters in at the laudromat instead of being disrespectful of me. I guess since he got kicked out of where he was living you have to do everything for him now? She said I was funny and I said it is just disrespectful.

She denied that those were Male clothes and I said ok I guess we done discussing it.

I then asked when some property would be returned to the house and she said I don't have to report to you. I said most certainly you don't it is just a question because I would like to use it. She got frustrated more When I asked where some furniture went( she snuck some out when I was gone for an all day event). She said it was on my side of the property list so I took it. I explained that we hadn't signed anything like that. She said we agreed on it though. I said yes but my L asked me to ask you to bring it back till all things are settled. She said she couldn't it was being used. I said The OM doesn't have furniture either wow that stinks. She said it wasn't him that was using it. It was her family who had already thrown their other furniture out and I am letting them use mine.

I said but it technically is still mine also. W said It is going with me when I move. I said most likely it is but you are still here so until you move please bring it back. She said how do you know I haven't started to move out. I said I didn't, she said well I will be out by the end of the month. I said ok. W said I thought we were ending this on a good note but you have to start s**t, I said not doing that just wanted you to know that I think it is disrespectful. She asked why I waited till the last minute to bring these things up. I said I didn't know we had a deadline.

She went upstairs muttering to herself Jumped on her phone and started by saying "yeah, it is F***head, he.... I didn't wait around and left to remove myself from the situation.

When I came back I told her I owed her apology for buying appliances as gifts for her. She didn't speak but I told W I can understand how you would feel that it was demeaning. Last week, I asked her "what would make me a better husband, not for her and no one in particular just what would be her vision on what this would look like for me" I said I guess this apology goes hand and hand with that question. BTW she never answered me.

She went out for a couple hrs but was home earlier than I expected, Actually I figured she would be gone overnight.

In the morning I went to church I came home and said Good Morning in Passing and she replied in kind.

Sunday she started to clean out a hall closet and I asked if we were going to talk about this property considering it is not on the list. She said all I did was clean out a closet and yes we will talk.

While this conversation was going on she was holding a pot of sauce or chili that she was taking with her to leave.

The last week or so a couple times she has prepared food and took it out of the home. It is not what my FIL eats so it isn't for him.

I was following her downstairs to the basement to eat my dinner and I couldn't resist it was dumb but it is said and I am over it.

I said he(meaning OM) doesn't have a kitchen either things must really be bad for him but thankfully he has you and his Baby Mama oh and that New blond from the gym he has been seen leaving with while you are working. This is new intel I received last week.

She walked out to her car and left.

The last couple days our house looks like an indoor yard sale she has everything out so we can talk about who wants what.

I don't think what was said over the weekend made her move out. She was already planning it I am sure.

I am sad that she is leaving but it may be the best thing if she gets out there on her own assuming it is on her own. Maybe even though we don't really communicate this true space will help both of us seeing as she still won't tell the truth about the A or actually other stuff also.

I still have hope for things to get better but it is getting smaller and smaller with each passing day.

What do I do now? Just stay patient and let whatever happens happen or is there something I could or should say to my W? Not to keep her from moving out necessarily but allow the road home to stay paved and smooth.

Thoughts very much appreciated!!