So yesterday morning W TM me about S and all he did, I validated and told her I think he is upset with me moving again .... she went MLC on me and started her spew .. I went dark and in about an hour she apologized and said she was having issues with heatlh and S just triggered it. I was surprised she actually apologized that quickly ... thats new. So day went by she was pretty quiet really, end of the day I was at work and was thinking about today ... her brothers hearing and its going to be a tense moment for her. I hand wrote a letter, nothing about M or R .... just a letter letting her know I understood how hard today would be, that I was praying for her, her brother and her family, that S and I were here and she was not going through it alone .... and ended it at that. signed it .. no "Love" ... left it at her door. She TM when she got home thanking me for the letter and that it was nice. Talked to S and nothing else from her. I TM her this mornign told her to drive safe and again said I was praying. She has been short and distant this week, understandable ... I was hoping to be there for her but I think she has realized she uses me as a crutch and has started to pull back from that. I am thinking I need to detach again, but did not want to miss a chance to be there emotionally, just going to play it by ear. I have been getting tired of this rope and it very well may be time to let it go .... she usually will rell me in a bit by this point'
I am conflicted ... and want off this ride, but I still want my marriage and my wife back, I have been questioning my own reasons for this as of late.
