Wife dropped the bomb Part 2

[HopeTex]

I am not sure how well I am doing these days. Just one foot in front of the other most days. Dreading moving out of the house and into the apartment this weekend. Just seems so sad and unfortunate. I am emotionally and physically exhausted. I fear being alone and lonely. Work is tough because of changes beyond my control so I worry for my job. I am hoping this is just a typical D funk and that things will brighten up sometime soon. Maybe moving out of the house and away from W will be good.

Aside from being down in the dumps, I imagine I am DB'ing ok. No R talks with wife. Just pleasant and calm and all business. Right now I can't imagine her ever wanting to reconcile. But I know there is always hope for that, in the future. She just seems so sure and decided about the divorce and wanting me to move out. Not angry, not mean, just decided.

The only time she opened up a little bit was when I signed myself up for DivorceCare at the church, which meant she will have to wait until they offer it next time. She said she knew I was probably having a tough time but that she was too. She talked about the guilt she felt since everyone knows she is the one pushing the D. Imagine she feels shame too. Unfort what she doesn't appear to feel is that it is also just a really dumb and selfish decision.

I kind of wish she was going to DivorceCare. It might be pretty rough for her, there are about 30 people in the class and as far as I can tell the only ones InThere who filed for D are women who suffered abuse. No WAW's in there. Seems like all people whose spouses left them. Imagine the reception in there would be pretty chilly for a WAW who just filed for D because the relationship was "hard" and not getting better fast enough. Hmm, little anger coming out if me here, eh?

Kids are doing ok so far, however you judge that. They say they are looking forward to seeing Daddy's new apartment.

My eyes are set on this weekend, getting moved out and the new apartment set up, and hopefully cheering up a bit.

D is the worst. Sorry for the general gloominess.