Mindsin - pt. 4 (the countdown begins)

[mindsin]

25 - On your last question: Yes, I mean the DB coach.

New 180 for me (just realized)

So my W will be going on her week long trip this Friday. She has been asking me (for days) to convert the videos from some exercise DVDs onto her iPad so she can use them while she's away.

Yesterday evening, she "blew up" at me for not getting to it yet.

My replies were defensive. "You're not leaving tomorrow. I'll get them done."

This morning, I started converting the 1st disc. She comes up behind me and abruptly says, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I'm doing my exercises this morning. Why can't you use the other PC?!"

She needed me to stop what I was doing so she could play her exercise DVD and do her workout. I told her that this PC is the one where the video conversion software is installed and registered.

I stopped, and let her do her workout.

Then it dawned on me...

There have been countless times in the past where she asked me to do something (a favor for her, for her parents, etc.) that required my knowledge or ability. For example, she trusts me with everything technology-related and leaves it up to me to take care of these things.

In the past, I have shown a lack of care for getting these things done. This latest thing is just "more of the same" from me.

And I also realize that she not only wants me to get them done, she wants me to TAKE CHARGE of these things so she feels like she's taken care of. By her persisting and pressuring me to get these videos converted to her iPad, it shows that she doesn't TRUST me to get it done.

She has even said these following things to me on several occasions after BD:

"[OM] knows how to take care of me."

"You can't take care of me."

"You need to find a woman that you can take care of."

It took me long enough, but I'm finally starting to connect the dots here. What I am uncertain of is whether she is trying to say I don't have the ability to, or I don't have the desire to take care of her.