Am I the only LD here?

[LDWIFE1]

Amber

Welcome to DB.

Thank you

When you reject him is their anything else that you can DO?

Sometimes...I am open to caressing him,a massage maybe, sometimes i even assist in his masterbation, but other times I just want NOTHING to do with ANY sexual activity. So when he suggests things like "if you're not in the mood, you could just give me a bj"...THAT doesn't go over so well.

A marriage is 50/50 and you need to put 100% into your half of the marriage.
How are you doing that?

I try to compromise (see above answer) and I will admit I get a bit resentful because I feel like I'm the only one who gives in (i know this is not true, its how i feel at times).

Do you know what your love language is?

it's been a while since we read the book, but i'm pretty sure mine is words of affirmation. He's an engineer and no matter what, he always has to tell me how i could have done something better, etc. I would LOVE to hear "that was great" end of story, no 'that was great, but you could have...'

Do you know what his love language is?

his is pretty much the same...and he'd like more appreciation for all that he does do.

I am sure that the two of you are speaking different languages.

yes, sometimes it seems we come from different planets...oh wait! we do! hahaha

Have you read the DR book?

didn't think we needed it

What other 180's can you make?

a crap-ton of them. LOL. I know there is a lot *I* can and need to do to help things change in my R...I really need to get over my stubbornness. I get stuck in the thought that *I* am the only one trying to change things...and I can say that in reality, I am not...not really changing things and certainly not the only one. He tries too.
I think we both need more patience in this as well...he might try something different, but if he see's no immediate result, it's back to the same old stuff that doesn't work...and same with me.

Men are very sexual animals and when we pursue and woman distance, which is the way it normally works, it can be very frustrating for a man.

this fact frustrates me. why does everything have to be about sex? and that's where i get stuck...in that type of thinking.

Emotionally women pursue and men distance.
I am sure that is just as frustrating for a woman.

yeah...i want affection, not sex. He see's them as the same thing...

Keep Posting and learning

that's my plan, man

Thanks Cadet, for responding to my first post. I think my thoughts are scattered and probably will be for the first few posts. I've been reading the forums on here for a few days before signing up...and i see that a 2x4 comes out every now and again...i know it's gonna piss me off when it hits me in the head...but later, when i really see after that whack, i'll be glad I got it.


Amber