Went to vacation home last weekend. My male friend over there turned 60. It kind of put the things into perspective. His wife is 34, and their kid is not even 2. There were other friends visiting, who actually organized a small party. I was pulled into the conversation about H, again. It started just with the questions, but turned out to be an “advising, what to do” session. I was asked again why don’t I divorce H, why I would not leave the condo to H, I was told that my son will get over the whole thing and I should not worry about him. I was asked if I’m dating and I was told how it is just OK when people split up but still maintain the common friends. Now, this is from the couple who were never divorced (first and long lasting marriage for both, even though not without arguing and bickering), and who don’t have kids.
When I was leaving the vacation place yesterday, I was thinking that maybe they are right and I’m just a bad, stupid person again. I know, stinking thinking… I started to think that I do need to file for D and never go to the vacation home again. I’m so fed up with this.
When I was leaving for the vacation home on Friday, I received a text from H, saying that he “had” to pay him, and that now the company taxes are due. He said that he sent me a file. The text “sounded” like he was not that happy to send it. I was driving at that time, so didn’t respond until I had to stop before crossing the border. I replied to him saying that I was on my way to the vacation home and that I would take care of the taxes when I get back. I asked him if the pay day was on that day. He replied “yes”. I sent another text saying that I think I have until Wednesday to pay the taxes (they have to be paid in the next few days after the payroll.) There was no reply to that. I thought that he was not happy that I was going to the vacation home. Before my first reply I was thinking that he would be happy for me and wish me a good trip, then I would tell him about his friend’s B-day (I don’t think he remembered.) Since he just replied “yes”, I decided not to mention anything. I’m not his mother to remind him about his friend’s B-days.
I suspected that he was not in a good mood, because he said he “HAD” to pay himself. I know that he had, because he run out of money and would not have any to pay for the condo next month. But he also didn’t make as much money on the company books as he hoped for. Oh well, not my problem.
So, considering all that happed during my time at the vacation home and his grumpy texts, I was having these thoughts that I should just do something to end this. I was seriously thinking about filing for D, telling him to stop any mail to my house, removing all my stuff from the vacation home and not going there again.
When I came back home yesterday, I opened his e-mail with the file. And… there was a completely different tone. He addressed me by name, informed me about the payroll for him and asking me if I could pay the taxes, and if not to please send him the necessary documentation, so he could “attempt to do it” himself. He put his usual (good mood usual) “Hope all is well”. But then… in PS he asked me the QUESTIONS… “How was vacation home over Labor Day? Everything OK with the Condo?”
So, I guess he knows I was at the vacation home a few weeks ago from his brother (my BIL), who went to the wedding last week. I guess there was a talk about me. I wonder if BIL told all the family how he keeps close to my family and how we have good relationship and good times together. I’m curious if they were surprised.
Not sure what prompted H to ask these questions. It’s been a while since he wanted to know anything about me. Maybe he was just trying to be polite because he was asking me a favor?
So, what do I do now? Do I reply with some good news about my time at the vacation home? I think I will. At this point I just don’t care anymore if it will be DBing or not. I would reply to a friend. It is just this made me to take a step back again and question my readiness to file. I will give it a few days to see what happens with my feelings. I either will be back into the standing mode, or I will get more angry and determined.
Last edited by BrightFuture; 09/24/1401:42 PM.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
