I've read lots of good advice here, such as replacing the word "doormat" with "devoted husband/father". This experience has really kicked my rear to pick up in the areas that I have slacked so that I can do 100% of this job on my own, if need be. That feels good, and I have confidence. But I still feel like a doormat. If I laid down in front of the door on her way out, she would walk right over me.
I spend time every day working to identify my role in this, and I have faith in the process, that it will take a long time for her to observe my changes. But I wonder if it will even matter to her. All I want to do right now is present her the most stable option, and a better version of me. But I fear that ultimately she won't want to do the work to earn ME back, and I just have to come to terms with that.
M: 33 W: 33 M: 9 T: 10 3 S's: 8, 6 and 1.5 BD: 8/3/14 Living together
