[gan]

I could really use some input on how to handle my upcoming move. I have no choice but to poke the bear for this one, so I'm looking to do as little damage as possible.

Recap: We lived in a rental apt (lease ends mid-Oct). H moved all his day-to-day stuff out soon after he moved out. So I am left with my stuff, our joint stuff and his "not so day-to-day stuff" (documents, safe keeps etc), all of which needs to be cleared out of the apt in 1.5 wks when I move out. Bear in mind that we've had little contact since we separated 3.5 months ago and no R talk - so I really have no idea where we are at and what he's thinking about the future.

So how do I handle this? There are a few things that I'm trying to work through:

1. Joint stuff - he has said he doesn't want anything (furniture etc) so my main question is about the sentimental stuff (wedding gifts, things we picked up on our travels together). Do we split this now? I'm tempted to just pack it into a box and take it with me given that he's not expressed a desire to have any of it. But then I don't want to seem controlling on the off chance he asks me about it. Do I bring this up? Guys perspective?

2. His stuff - clearly he is entitled to take it. I've gathered everything into a couple of piles but stopped short of putting into boxes for him. His new place is apparently very small whereas I will have a storage cage. Should I offer to hold on to it if he can't? Also, his stuff includes a whole lotta items that would normally stir up emotions in someone who wasn't in fog land (old love letters from me, gifts from my family etc). I'm not sure how he'll react - can I do anything here to make this less stressful or guilt/shame inducing? Actually I don't think he realizes how much stuff is still here.

3. Should I be here when he comes to pick it up or no? I get so few opportunities to see him but it is bound to be an emotionally charged process for both of us and may well lead to R talk (are we splitting this stuff for good?) I'm not sure if I can handle that.

Any thoughts or shared experiences would be appreciated. Rather stressful times here…it has NOT been fun packing up by myself and coming across boxes that just 12 months ago would imply that our lives were thoroughly intertwined and showing no signs of changing any time soon (e.g. a single box containing trinkets from both of our childhoods). :-(