just been reading your story, I'm a relative newbie here but I recognise a lot of your H in my W. Also interesting what people are saying on children impacting their M. We had a really close bond until my S arrived, we had a tough time getting P and we both had to go through a lot to get there, we also had one or two scares along the way. Once he arrived we initially split the care and I was happy to handle night feeds but I had to get a better job to cover costs from the freelance I had been doing and W became SAH mum.
Despite all that we were still very happy but when S was leaving Kindergarden and moving to school our problems really kicked in and she's been very possessive of him ever since and never really wanted to come up for air in the M , wanting to have time as a couple or take weekends without him were always angrilly dismissed. Think that caused a spiral which caused me to pursue her through needyness and push him away slightly which breaks my heart now as I wouldnt change having him for anything, last few years now I look back on it are very similar to whats been said here, I've been overlooking the distancing going on and just head down trying to make ends meet.
W is now behaving very similar to your H although in my case she also has S and its tricky to see him as she is now 100% home educating him and submerged in his activities 9-5 all week. Retro editing our history together to say there were no good times and seems very confused on any way back. I'm just getting through the days, PMA, GAL and keeping up my 180s but its so hard some days, I really get what you mean.
Anyway sorry to hijack, really just wanted to say keep posting and keep going and I hope things really get better for us all.
Ed
M:44, W:46, S:10 M 13 years, T 15 BD:23/7/2014 W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014 My new place: 21/11/2014 W/S back to flat 22/11/2014 W coming closer, talking 4/2015 Piecing 5/2015 Moving in again 6/2015
